December 31, 2006

sionara 2006

it's december 31, 2006. we're sitting at home, flipping through the channels while Maisie naps in her car seat (she fell asleep in the car and we don't dare take her out of her seat until she actually wakes, she's not still out in the car).

i'm not going to do a lengthy reflection, but i am going to vent a little. we've had a bit of a lousy holiday season this year. we didn't unpack any decorations, and we can barely bathe and feed ourselves most days, let alone try to do something a bit above ordinary for a holiday, so we didn't make any meals for thanksgiving or christmas. we spent ... spent what? i don't know, i lost my train of thought. that happens a lot, like finding the cell phone in the freezer and such. i can't keep things straight anymore.

oh i remember... we spent the holidays with friends, which was nice to have company, but i guess i'm longing to start our own holiday traditions. because we haven't unpacked and really, really settled in to the house yet, (it's been...8 months since we bought it) it feels like we aren't going to be here long, like we will be moving again soon. i have to keep reminding myself that we'll likely be here a couple years, maybe more, which is great. it just doesn't feel like it.

i'm having a hard time feeling "solid" about most major things in life right now. the house, and also Maisie. as odd as it might be, it still seems unreal that she's here, that she's ours. sometimes it hits me when i see someone else holding her but most of the time i'm so zoned out trying to make it through the day on a couple of non-consecutive hours of sleep that i don't really feel the reality of life most days. it bothers me. i don't want to miss this time. i don't want to talk about it years later and say "yeah, most of it's a blur" but, at this point, that's what i will say.

well, have a nice new year's eve. we are party hopping this year, ending the evening with some friends that we'd like to be closer to but haven't spent the time with to go there. hopefully that will change this year.

no resolutions except to get more sleep and figure out what is causing Maisie so much digestive upset. that will shift the course of our life significantly.


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