Mississippi River at 2' Above Flood Stage

Mississippi River at 2' Above Flood Stage

Mississippi River at 2' Above Flood Stage

What A Day!

I've dubbed this "Nature Day". We woke to find one of Maisie's butterflies had emerged from its chrysalis. Maisie put on her butterfly dress and we let it go. What a treat to get to "hold" a butterfly, because it didn't know any better!

When we got to work this morning, from the second story window of the nursery we had a perfect view of two mourning doves building a nest. One would fly off to find nesting materials, and return to land on the other's back and make a delivery. After leaving again, the dove in the nest flittered and twitched each new piece into place with remarkable speed. We were so close, but I only had the iPod to take video or pictures, and it just wasn't close enough for that little lens. I'm hoping tomorrow we can get another opportunity to watch them build a home.

After coming home, we found that 5 more butterflies had emerged. We showed them some azalea flowers and they seemed to take a liking to them. Then we took a peek at the robin's nest we had found on Sunday and were able to catch this little guy desperate to eat!

Really a very neat day to get to witness so many things we usually never get a chance to experience.

This Boy!

I find him climbing into, onto, and over EVERYTHING now... And pulling himself up to standing. He'll be running before he's one! He climbed into this seat by himself. I found him halfway in it, with knees and feet on the floor and thought "that's cute, he'll just play around like that". A minute later he was in it, tearing the lining out.

Then tonight, he helped himself up on his knees

...and then to standing! Not the first time but definitely stronger, more determined and more steady.

Are we ever going to have our hands full in a couple months!

Easter Egg Hunting

In hot pursuit...

Pail full of treasure

A very special cache of eggs

Maisie Said...

Love

Speak

You, Your voice

     so subtle, so lush

You drip in to my cracks and gaps

     fill them in with morning-light Life

   You hum

My words

     to express yours

          not quite right

        they smush and flatten

     halt, herky-jerky

So I'll just listen

     Speak

This poem was written for a ladies tea night, where everyone was to bring a poem on a specific subject. That night's subject was Holy Spirit. I was contemplating that place where you hear the Holy Spirit speaking to you, and try to communicate it to others, and how it's never really quite the same.

Introducing David

Son. My beautiful son. My loving, loudly happy, growly, surprisingly strong, gift of a son. You were, and are, an outworking of His love, His patience for me, His unrelenting care to change me to a better person. For so long I resisted your life, not wanting to give up more of my own. Until He said "But I made you to be a great mother, and you are missing what I have for you". So I gave in, and here you are. What a shame had I persisted! What a loss for me, for Maisie and Daddy, for every person you will ever meet.

Two short hours in the shower on a Monday morning in late August and everything changed, again. Such a sharp and immediate contrast to just a day before. Overnight, Maisie was oldertallersmartersadderandneedier, but stronger, too. And happy. She loves you, so much.

I found myself saying, "How could I have forgotten how to change a diaper? Am I doing this right?" amazed that four long, slow, beautiful and difficult years could somehow be catapulted forward at an incredible speed as if I had been daydreaming that whole time and suddenly snapped back to reality by your 8lb, 14oz., life-depending-on-me self.

And there you stayed, just shy of 9lbs. And then dropped, and dropped, and dropped some more. I pleaded, I cried, I resented, I resisted. I couldn't believe He would help me learn to let go of control, again and again and again, this time through you. Didn't He know breastfeeding was best for you? 8lbs, 2oz at 16 weeks. Accepting the reality of your tiny, emaciated body because of my insistence, I regretted. But I let go and also learned to not judge myself. I stopped judging other moms. And you started to grow.

And grow you did. So heavy, son! So happy! You wake up with a scream and a smile every morning, excited to see your family, your world. You laugh, you growl and grunt, kick and crawl and flip, Busy Boy. Chunky thighs and rounded cheeks of smooth and perfect new skin. Little toes that curl and stretch, feet that search and find. Warm, soft and remarkably strong little fingers grasping and clutching, exploring everything and anything in reach. Drooling, scooching, fussing...A joy.

Almost 8 months to the day and I can't imagine life without you. I can't find that place that separates and measures my love for you and my love for Maisie. Such a fun boy. We waited 13 days for your name, worried and fretted feeling like nothing was right and how could we let you be here for so long with only "Baby"? Every day He said "Just wait, you'll know. Just relax, let go, trust Me. I know who he is. Just listen." And then it came. Daddy said "David?" Oddly I burst in to tears. We looked at each other and said "That's it." Beloved, dear one. Two years of learning to trust that He loves me,  a tremendous shift in perspective that giving up more of my life to begin your own was not an act of obedience to have another, but a response of love to His love, a vision of you as a young toddler exuding love for me, for others, for life...David.

"What about a middle name?" I don't know, let's wait some more. "I think it's Andrew," Daddy said. I choked up, more tears. Strong Man. And strong you are, so strong. Painfully you punched me from inside as you explored. Knife-sharp pain, even as a fetus, that made me cry out, sit down. Now with body free from womb your strength only increases, you yank my hair, pinch my cheeks, bite my chin, twist so fast I hardly saw you move but you're facing the other way, traverse the house from one side to the other in minutes...Andrew.

Such a beautiful soul, a gift to us. I love watching you grow, son. I look forward to the satisfaction of remembering these years and those to come when I am fully gray and you have your own little lives to love. 

Danger!

With growth and maturity comes danger and risk. David is crawling and pulling up, so naturally very interesting things like electrical outlets, knives, heavy objects, beverages and many other potentially messy or hazardous items are now easily within reach. Would I keep him from crawling and pulling up, keep him from reaching and stretching and exploring in order to protect him from these things, or worse in order to save myself from having to deal with them or the consequences if I don't? Of course not. I love my son. I want him to grow, to be encouraged and learn natural consequences, learn to love exploration and investigation. What do we do, as adults, to stunt our own growth or the growth of our loved ones, our relationships with them, because we'd rather be preventative than adapt and risk the dangers?